05.23.03

This site often switches roles in the kind of things I write. Sometimes it's a documentary, sometimes a journal, sometimes a language book, and sometimes, like today, it's an editorial. Make no mistake about it, there is not so much as a sliver of objectivity in anything that follows. This is 'me spouting my opinion to those who didn't ask for it,' in it's purest form. Now that that's out of the way, let the taiikusai-bashing begin.

Taiikusai basically translates as Sports Festival, and it's a long-standing and indeed famous part of Japanese education. Everyone has had a Sports Festival in Elementary, Jr. High and High School and they usually seem to be one of the fonder memories of most of the Japanese people I've spoken to. Well not me. I hate them. I loathe them with the atom-crushing intensity of a neutron star.

Just to clear things up a bit, I'm not Japan-bashing. I have a long history of loathing extracurricular events in school, particularly when they're related to sports, long before I had an interest in this fine nation. I somehow found it insulting when my entire high school was called to the gym for an hour as all the "cool" kids did silly skits and chants explaining to us why our blood should be boiling because our football team was going to play some other high school's football team, which would surely change the political landscape of the entire universe in the span of the weekend. I didn't like football. With the exception of my friends Nat and Jason, I didn't like anyone who played football. And as long as the subject wasn't English (ironic, ain't it?), I would have dearly loved to have been in any class doing something to further my education rather then sitting on sticky bleachers listening to mind-numbing, school-spirit propaganda.

So you can imagine that the idea of a Sports Festival, an event that takes place during an entire day, an event that takes place on a Sunday of all fucking days, an event that for some unfathomable reason takes a week of cancelled classes (which are questionably effective to begin with, to say nothing about shaving off their numbers) to prepare for, and an event that is basically just one flavor of relay race after another... and you can see why such a thing has made my shit list in very short order.

To help numb the pain, I took my camera along and snapped pics like crazy with the sole goal being to use them as fodder to later make fun of this Complete Waste of Life™, which takes 2 months of teacher planning and one week of almost a thousand people doing who-knows-what, resulting in... a dirt field that was already there to begin with and some colorful headbands.

Release the hounds!

The welcome sign in the parking lot. I'll spare this my wrath since students worked hard on it.

 

Yeah, if you're not a teacher or a student, you'd better stay the hell out of this ultra-sensitive area where teachers and students... sit around and... do vital... stuff...

"Man if only this were a high-powered rifle, that smart-ass Moriyama would never crack wise in class again..."

I don't think I could say anything to make this more humiliating than it already is for these poor dancing guys.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love Ishii-sensei? Mother of two and she can still look just like an Elementary student. ^_^

"Back in my day we didn't have these fancy Sports Festivamajigys. We fashioned mounds of dirt out of our imagination, and we liked it. Dammit, we loved it!!

"Weeee, don't wanna play, we just wanna bang on the drum all day. I say, weeeee don't wanna play, we just... aw, fuck this shit."

Okay, if you take into account that the PTA put up all those tents, I ask you, WHAT took a week of no class to prepare for???

Sorry, buddy. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it went away. I tried and it didn't work for me either.

Kids have no respect; blatantly marking up school dirt with their crazy youngster graffitti. I won't tolerate it dammit!!

And I don't care if you can play checkers on your graffitti, it's still graffitti!!

After a while, students and spectators alike got bored with simply relay race after relay race, so they started dressing em up in their club uniforms (this guy is in the Kendo Club, a fact I'll bet he's lamenting right about now).

"Oh, dude. My hernia is so going to kick ass over that chump, Yumi's. It's gonna be the coolest ever!"

These girls are girls and therefore have an excuse for the pom-poms...

...these guys on the other hand...

 

05.22.03

Yeah, I know I said there'd be pictures today (and they are actually half prepared), but that was before Goddamn piss-ant Ghost Recon pissed me off to the point that I can taste my own bile.

Please explain to me how a backwoods, Russian hick rebel can pick off a US Spec Ops sniper, covered in camouflage, laying on the ground over 400 yards away, on the first shot and with an assault-rifle, no less!!?!? I mean, I can barely hit this guy with my super-ultra-death sniper rifle, but he can turn and hit me in mid-stride with his AK-47 as soon as he hears my shot???

GODMOTHERFUCKINGASSBITCHSHITCOCKLICKINGDICKFUCKS!!

And it's not like I could let that pass so I had to keep playing over and over. So yeah, I was preoccupied. Sorry. >:-(

 

05.21.03

Heaps of thanks to those that have been offering helpful pointers on the English Town Guide. I'm fortunate enough to have, not only a slew of English teachers reading this site, but also a professional proofreader(!), all of whose contributions have gone a long way into making this document much better and more professional than it otherwise would have been.

This whole experience has only made me realize, however, how crappy my usual writing/punctuation/grammar usually is, so now I'm totally self-conscious and hitting the backspace key every three words to make sure I'm not making some subtle guffaw that you elitist snobs will crucify me for. ^_- Don't worry, this will probably last about a week and then I'll be back to the ruthlessly unruly raping of written English that you've come to expect from me.

I'll have an updated version with all the suggested changes up by tommorrow, and hopefully I'll have also fixed some of the other problems with the pictures that people had been mentioning. It's my first time to use Acrobat, so I'm figuring things out as I go.

Now, on to the other thing that I was gonna mention, the new contest system. I came up with the whole idea and even solicited readers for suggestions on what would be an interesting prize system since there seems to be very few picture postcards in Japan, and certainly none of Fukuma in any case. After getting all kinds of neat ideas and throwing in a few of my own, I discovered yesterday, of all the fucking days, that I have access to a machine that can make photo-quality postcards that I can drop in the mail. It's times like this that the the phrase, "Oh for fuck's sake!" was fashioned.

So while I could go back to just the postcard idea, I'm quite fond of the other options that were tossed my way, so we're just going to stick with that as well as throwing the postcards in for good measure. Details on what I like to call, "the dilly," can be found on Contest page in the Misc. section.

I'll be back tomorrow with some photos from one of the more notable banes of my existence; Taiikusai, the school Sports Festival.

 

 

05.19.03

As promised, here's the new and improved Fukuma English Town Guide (9.6MB, PDF), courtesy of yours truly (as well as one page on the garbage system done by Fletcher). It's chock full of useless information for anyone not living in Fukuma, but kinda fun nonetheless. I even managed to bury a physics joke in there, we'll see if you can pick it out.

You guys are actually the first to see this thing since even my supervisor won't have time to look at it properly for a while, so I'm gonna ask you to help me out. Take a look at it and if you find any mistakes, drop me a line and let me know. You'll be helping me look like less of a wanker in front of my boss and be striking a blow to bad spelling and worse grammar everywhere.

This would be a smashing occasion to roll out the new contest system. If you find a mistake and be the first to let me know about it and you win a prize! I'll have a page just for the contest goodies up sometime by Wednesday which will have more details about the new contest system. Tanoshimi ni shite ne!


On a completely unrelated note, I'm in agreement with
Tycho on this one: Animatrix - The Second Renaissance, Pt 2 is just downright disturbing. I need to go wash my brain before going to sleep now.

 

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