04-06-02

So what's going on around here lately? I've been doing some work type stuff, you know, organizing ideas for the new semester. Uhhhh, I've gone out to yakiniku with Fletch and Rory and Ben a few times. Managed to get a bit of Japanese study in here and there. What else.... oh yeah, video games. Played some video games, but that should probably even go without saying. Man, this week has been a wash!! It's so sad when I just have nothing worthwhile to put in an update. I mean, I started the site to keep my family and friends up to snuff and what happens? There's NO SNUFF!! Man, good thing this site hasn't gone subscription, or I'd be handing out refunds like potatoes at a U2 concert. (Because they're IRISH, get it? hahahahaha) Oboy, it's time to change the subject.

New Engrish photos just in! Get 'em while they're stupid!!! Honestly, you've got to see what's written on the side of one of my teacher's cars to believe it.

And speaking of the Engrish section, why did no one tell me that when I made the new button bar that it said 'EngLish' instead of 'EngRish' like it used to!?!? My friends, HA!! Well, I'm not going to go through the trouble of changing it now. You'll know why soon enough.

The boundless enthusiasm that is apparently engendered by reading Hair Flap, has apparently infected my friend, co-worker and fellow Portlandian, Fletcher(Fact: The word "Portlandian" has now been used twice in this update. Ooo, three times now!). He's still far too lazy to start his own site, so instead he'll be making regular contributions to this one in the form of his own column. Appropriately titled Only in Japan, this column is going to focus on the observations and frustrations that are unique to the experience of living day-in, day-out in the Land o' th' Risin' Sun. So enough adieu, let's let our boy get to work. ==> Before we continue, can anyone tell me what this is all about? No, on second thought never mind. I don't want to know. Ever. I mean it...ever!! Out of consideration for those with slower connections (with my new ADSL connection I'm no longer one of you, so I now have the privilege of mocking you openly), I've revamped the Engrish page so that only the newest entries will load and all the previous ones will be on another page that you can waste time and bandwidth on at your leisure. Speaking of the Engrish page, there are now two new Engrish entries up....in the Engrish page. Engrish page, Engrish page. All props are due to Jeff for introducing me to the coolest link I will ever put on this site, which is now up, with a brief explanation, on the Links page (or if you're brave enough to trust me, you can follow this link right now). You will laugh! Poll Results I think we can glean two important conclusions from last weeks poll asking whether or not my school's Imoto-sensei resembled the Björk wallpaper picture. Let's take a look at the results. This data can be interpreted as: 1. That the majority of voters think Imoto-sensei does in fact resemble Björk. 2. That since only four people voted, most readers JUST DON'T CARE!!! Anyhoo, no poll this week. Too much other new stuff. So get this, I just got a call from some random lady. She's talking pretty fast, but I thought she was asking if I was a company of some sort. I said, "No, this is a home actually." I asked who she was and she replied with some fast Japanese that I wasn't able to catch, so I said, "I'm sorry?" She then asked, "Oh, uhhhh....Is your mother there?" I was like, "Uhhh, it's only me. I live here." "Oh, you're an adult!?" She was very surprised. I explained that my Japanese wasn't that great so I didn't understand what she said the first time. "Wait, you're a foreigner?" She was very surprised...again. "But your Japanese is really good! How long have you been in Japan?" "About six months now." "But really, you're Japanese is good, isn't it? I had no idea." So the moral of the story is: My Japanese is good. Really good. So good in fact, that it can be mistaken for that of a moron child. Time to start hitting the books again methinks. :P God, I'm still trying to forget about that nun picture. I mean, really, what the hell!?!? El Vacatiòn de Tokyo So as I mentioned, the weather last week licked. Suffice it to say, my trip to Tokyo was less than the stellar fun-fest I had planned. I could probably have even handled the rain by itself, I'm from Portland for God's sake, but the problem was that it was falling sideways! Even my cheapy ¥500 umbrella was no help (big surprise). I tried convincing myself that it wasn't that bad, and was even worth it since I was getting some cool photos, but when my boxers started to show through my drenched trousers I decided enough was enough and started touring some shopping centers. I should mention that one day was utterly beautiful, not a cloud in the sky the entire day. I took this opportunity to go to the highlight of my trip, a Tokyo suburb called Seiseki-Sakuragaoka. Outside of hardcore anime fans, most of you probably don't realize the signifgance of this town, and probably still won't after I tell you, but Seiseki-Sakuragaoka is the setting in the film Mimi wo Sumaseba (If You Listen Closely). I think this is officially my favorite film of all time, animated or not (and no, since I know you were thinking it, that doesn't include the Star Wars or Star Trek films, which far exceed the scope of mere films). So the opportunity to visit this town in real life was just too much to pass up. I'm putting together a special section of the site just about my day in Seiseki-Sakuragaoka that'll probably be in the Misc. section when it's done. So without too much narration, I'll share some of my photos from my Tokyo trip for those of you who just can't get enough of the Japanese urban landscape. Hey, I can't and I even live here!

Only In Japan Blistering Social Commentary by Fukuma Fletch Several weeks ago, my junior high school held their graduation ceremony, sending several hundred studied out ninth graders on to high school. Luckily the students, who have been cramming their butts off for the high school entrance exams for months now, get some time off before they restart the whole process at the next level of their educational experience. Yes, before the students start high school they get a whole two weeks of vacation. Never mind the fact that most of them will be in "summer school" classes for ten hours a day, six days a week in an effort to get ahead by that little much before school starts. The problem is, now that every student takes these classes, instead of getting that much ahead of their peers, they're basically just playing the students version of "Keeping up with the Jones'". Any student who, gasp, actually decides to enjoy his spring break by going on a vacation or playing baseball with his buddies will be playing catch-up for weeks once school starts. Oh well. That's the way things have been done for so long, I guess there's no real point in trying to change it (uh oh, I think I've been in Japan too long). Anyway, I thought I'd tell you a bit about Fukuma Chu-Gakko's graduation ceremony. I've even provided a copy of the program (thoughtful, aren't I)? 10:00 ­ Walk into auditorium full of parents staring at their child's gaijin English teacher. 10:15 ­ Stand up, bow, sit down. 10:16 ­ Stand up, bow, sit down. 10:17 ­ Stand up, bow, sit down. 10:18 ­ Listen to a speech I can't understand. 10:25 ­ Stand up, bow, sit down. 10:26 ­ Stand up, bow, sit down. 10:27 ­ Stand up, bow, sit down. 10:28 ­ Listen to a speech I can't understand. 10:40 ­ Stand up, bow, sit down. 10:41 ­ Stand up, bow, sit down. 10:42 ­ Stand up, bow, sit down. 10:43 ­ Listen to a speech I can't understand. 11:00 ­ Stand up, bow, sit down. 11:01 ­ Stand up, bow, sit down. 11:02 ­ Stand up, bow, sit down. I think you get the idea. Apparently the junior high school graduation ceremony is a pretty serious event. The mayor, the Superintendent of Education, and the head of the Board of Education all gave nice speeches (I think). Either things are different in Japan (kind of like saying maybe the sun's hot) or I just don't remember my own junior high school graduation ceremony because this one seemed much more emotional than I would have expected. Looking at all the crying teachers, I thought maybe they had officially adopted all their homeroom students or something. My one consolation was an English teacher who later told me that at least half of the students couldn't understand the speeches as well, due to the difficulty of the Japanese used. There's nothing like not being able to understand your commencement address to make you feel like those last three years of school were really worth it.

This is what I saw for all but one day during my trip. :(	Mmmm, enormous buildings and lots of 'em. Just like a nice warm blanket.	That three-tiered deal is my favorite building in Tokyo. Just delicious!

Ginza District	I was fortunate enough to spy the MacWorld Tokyo bus!! I waved and jumped and said, "Hi, MacBus!!" but it just drove by. Bastard bus.	Shinjuku's Kabuki District, where my hotel was.

The legendary capsule hotel, designed mostly for overnight business trips or businessmen who got drunk and missed their last train home(a business trip, didn't I just say that?). You put your stuff in a locker downstairs, change into a Yukata and come up to hallways that look like this. Each nook, or capsule, is a room. They go from about $25-40. A steal in Tokyo!!	Inside the capsule itself, you've got everything you need: a TV, Radio, Alarm Clock, but you'd better check your claustrophobia at the front desk.	Now, normally I wouldn't condone piracy of corporate image, but this was somehow just way too cool!

Righto, we're wrapped up for this week. Stay tuned for next week when we'll take a jaunt around my school and see where I work. I can feel your excitement from here.

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